You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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