You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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