u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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