I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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