addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
