It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
