How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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