strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
