i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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