I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize