I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
