got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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