I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
