so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
