I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
