I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
