my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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