last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
