that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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