based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
