he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So much rum. So many feels.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
