She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
