im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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