My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
