I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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