we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
where does the pee come out of this thing
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
