no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
