I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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