i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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