My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
