By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
