I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
