he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
