that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize