ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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