Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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