I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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