Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
