porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
