i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
