we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
