I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
