sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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