for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
