Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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