It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
