He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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