Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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