you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
