420 ftw
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
