I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
