So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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