i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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