i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
