fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
