i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize