I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
