a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
