I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
