did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
