He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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