I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
