She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
