Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
