Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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